MuSiC oF mY LiFe

~~Saturday, June 25, 2005~~

hey...today was a relaxed day..onli immunology and molecular bio (AMB) lect...haha..torturous 4 hrs but i endured it wif e relentless cold weather tis morn...lolx. my whole class actually pon AMB lect...left the 4 of us...haha..den i was lyk toking to shiya..den tiff n huiyun lyk listenin n stonin..haha..aft tt went to sdar..den nps clubhse collect stuff..den went to meet some jess they all for lunchy. While waitin for alvin to b done for his mol, i acc shiya to cant 2 there check out stuff..den went clubhse take more stuff again..den take bus hm wif jer n tiff..hah..

jus now while chatting wif my classmates and frenz, cont to hear tt almost EVERYONE's studyin n picking their books...my stomach jus flipped again. i m worried bout work but i cant conc still..hah...stared at immuno for less than 5min can slp le =X den wan do others lyk v sianz..haiz...gotta buck up.

Den, i jus received an invitation tt made me feel lyk utter shit now. Now tt i m slacking so much, neither studyin nor bia-ing..i got an invitation to join the Student Talent Development Programme (STDP). Not realli an invitation, but its a programme tt i can join if my grades can make it and they will sorta nurture u and get u diff. PSC scholarships...if u sign on and take the challenge...haiz....so fucked up. Now tt i m contented wif my slacking life, tis pop up and make me feel tt i have wasted so much time away and i cud haf gotten away wif tis easily if i hadn't lax...now is lyk i wan get tis and join tis for my family's sake...but i dun tink i can make it le...really..i noe where i stand...and wonder who else got tis invitation...i still can consider whether or not to go for the tea-party session and hear the briefing...deadline's on 29th June..if i missed it or wad...means ALL these scholarships are GONE and FOREVER far-fetched...ESP. if i m a POLY student...

But den again...how m i gonna haf the confidence wif grades lyk tt NOW and stuffs...haiz..i duno how the procedures will go but i noe i need to haf Straight As result and excellent ccas record to get it. tis is jus a path tt will lead me to it IF i can make it...but i doubt so...Tis is not a sure get it kinda tink..nothin comes free...i haf gotta do sth quick..

maybe tis letter came in to wake me up...tell me tt i've still gotta put my studies IN focus...

argh......i tink i will attend the briefing and see wad its abt..but i scared tt history repeats...aim higher, fall harder...arh...esp if i've so many stuffs up my neck now...shit...

anyway, i cut my hair alr...look lyk fading weeds now..few strands left..haha...and gonna change to a nerdy pair of spects..dun luff when u see me on the streets or in sch nect week...jus LUFF OUT LOUD can le..lolx..

okok..i stop here 1st..suddenly remb i gotta do sth else le..

tml meeting esther to get documents and stuff..hope it will be smooth..hope i dun screw up anytink i do le...haha..tc pple..

"i tink i hafta make it clear to U tt i m not good enuff kkz? as u see, i m busy and so r u...i cant sacrifice as much as i wanted so jus try to understand will ya? It sux when i m so pushed to the walls alr and i still hafta see ur face colour and mood...i m in no position to ask for more."

12:16 AM